Whiney-Butt Phases

Ever just wanna be done with something?  Maybe a diet for a special event?  Maybe the special event?  Maybe a garage sale?  Maybe a drive?  You're getting the gist, right?  Well, I'm there.  Last night I had my breaking moment.  I'm only half way done with recovery from surgery and I very much want to be done.

I was accustomed to my pre-surgery daily routine.  I would do a load of laundry, choose a meal for dinner, pay a bill, and shop for the day's groceries in the morning.  I needed an hour power nap in the early afternoon.  I would clean-up between 4-5 so my husband would be oh-so-happy when he got home from work.  I started cooking at 5 and I was done at 6pm.  And I do mean done.  I did not go out.  I stayed off the computer.  I was lucky to stay awake past 9pm.  And I was up early the next day to start my routine again.  My version of minimalism served me well, but that was then, this is now.

I don't like asking for help with basic things.  I hate being exhausted even more quickly than before.  My power hour nap takes a good portion of the afternoon.  Cooking consists of tossing a frozen meal in the slow cooker.  Yes, I made those meals before I had surgery.  I just really miss the creative outlet of choosing and preparing our dinner each day.

What's missing from the picture is gratitude.  The whiney-butt that I am is not seeing all the things for which there are to be thankful.  A diet is a chance to choose healthy food for my body.  A special event is a chance to connect and maybe celebrate with family and friends.  A garage sale is a chance to bless others with items I no longer use and maybe earn a little cash.  A drive means I have a car with places to go and things/people to see.  Recovery is a chance to let others do for me.  It's a chance to let my body heal and be better than before.  With success, I won't have the limitations I did before surgery.  I would like to keep my routine, for it served me well.  Being healthier is a chance to go beyond my routine and serve more people.  That is what's in my heart; service to others.  Shame on me for not accepting the service others share with me during my time of healing.

I see now, reading back through this very post, that my version of minimalism needs to focus on gratitude.  Contentment is at the heart of happiness.  I believe one reaches contentment through gratitude.  I not only have enough, I am enough, and I am grateful for the many blessings in my life even if it takes a raw and honest post to work through the whiney-butt phases.

Dare to be Free

The loss of my father, surgery, and minimalism are all helping me learn to let go.  It's something I must learn but my hope is it becomes a natural state for me.  My wonderful family is incredibly supportive and I'm so thankful.  It is hard for me to let go and harder for me to ask for help.

Preparation for the surgery started before my father's sudden passing. Because I have not had the best history with the medical community, I was challenged to view this surgery as restorative.  The 2 year lead up, strong relationship with my doctor, fabulous support system, and all-around fantastic communication with all parties suggested that restoration could happen; and it is.

The surgery itself has restored a part of my body that has been badly hurt for a long time.  The recovery period has allowed me to explore feelings about the loss of my father and process them in safety.  I am trusting that I am loved and cared for.  It helps that my support network proves themselves daily, even though they shouldn't have to.  Not having to stress about massive clutter is freeing.

Freeing . . . that should be my new motto.  I choose to live with less because it is freeing me to be  content, to love myself, and accept the love of others.  Dare to be Free!

Clutter Comes in All Forms

This minimalist gig is far bigger than I imagined when I started.  I thought I'd get rid of some stuff in the house, pair down my wardrobe, have some clean surfaces, and be good.  I learned relatively quickly that it is an ongoing process to keep the clutter out and the surfaces clear.  I then began to learn that busyness was a form of clutter and started to simplify my schedule.  I enjoy a slower pace of life.  It's probably the hardest thing for people to understand because society has taught us to find worth and importance by how much we have to do.  We are not allowed to simply say no to something.  Rather we are required to list off every stinkin thing on our to-do list to justify that we are indeed too busy to say yes to a request.  The poor folk who are incapable of saying no, even when their to do list is longer than the day has hours, are totally overwhelmed.  I get to save my yeses for things I really want to do and will bring me joy. I may struggle at times with societal guilt, but I'm working on that.

I'm also finding that I'm minimizing my words.  It's not something I've read about or even a goal I've set for myself. I think it's a byproduct of simplifying life in general.  I'm realizing that people don't need the whole story in order to understand my simple answer to a question.  If they want more info they will ask.  I rather sound like an imbecile at times as I sensor myself and that's okay.  I'm living in the moment and long answers usually involve the past.  Simple is better.

Clutter also involves all the negative self-talk and worry that rattles around in my thoughts.  This is my area of focus during my recovery time from surgery.  I don't feel well and that leads to a lot of negative thinking.  I have been working on accepting compliments, combatting negative self-talk with affirmation statements, and putting worry to rest by staying in the now and accepting what I have control over.   It's challenging, but like the rest of my minimalist progress, it's worth it.

Before and Now

I'm glad I got that little post done so I can keep the stone rolling and write more.  I've been thinking about the benefits I've been experience because of minimizing.  First thing, when I received the call from my sister that my dad was in bad shape I left, immediately.  I did not worry about things that needed to be done before I left or during the 4 hour drive to the hospital.  I was focused on my sister, my dad, my mom, and my brother.  I was fully present to be a support and surf the emotional waves of his last days.

Before minimizing I would dream of having a maid, a chef, a gardner.  Now I have time and enjoy cleaning my house, preparing fantastic meals, and building my know how to have a garden.

Before minimizing I was paralyzed by decision fatigue when choosing what to wear any given day.  Now I joyfully select from my capsule wardrobe and feel fantastic.

Before minimizing I would shame myself for the excess I had, yet continue to add to it because I believed the consumerism messages that stuff would make me happy.  Now I happy with what I have and am able to selectively choose to purchase only those things that I will use often and love.

Before minimizing I wasn't very hopeful about what the future held.  Now I am free to dream and take action, now, to make progress to achieve those dreams.

Now I have more joy, more hope, more dreams, and more love.  Now is great.

For the Fun of It

I'm learning and embracing the fact that minimalism looks different for everyone.  For example, most people would agree creating a meal plan for a week or more in advance helps keep the cost of groceries to a minimum.  Advanced meal planning was practical for me when life was busy.  It was not, however, exciting.  In this slower pace of life that I am enjoying, I like to find a new recipe every day.  I then go grocery shopping for just that recipe.  It's keeping my cost down because I'm excited to cook.  We stay out of the restaurants because I'm excited to cook and try new things.  I don't waste food because the recipe didn't strike my fancy that day.  I've been a stay at home mom for 20 years.  I'm just now spreading my wings and cooking for the fun of it.

What minimalism looks like will differ depending on the family.  It's not a competition.  Everyone is looking for that which brings them joy.  I have learned joy is not found in my stuff.  I want space for hosting my family and friends.  I do not intend to fill the space with stuff.  I do intend to fill it with love, acceptance, and anything else that supports our mission/goals.

My minimalist journey is going from feeling ashamed as I declutter/deown/decrayify, to feeling free and having fun as I enjoy life.  I'm not only cooking for the fun of it, I'm cleaning for the joy of it.  I'm taking care of myself for the love of it.  It's amazing what this new year is bringing into my life.  I am able to receive all the good because of all that I've let go.  Winning!

I'm Ready

Courtney Carver is one of my favorite minimalist.  She is the founder of #project333 which is the inspiration for my capsule wardrobe.  She recently made a post entitled 10 Ways to Create a Routine with Joyful Discipline.  With the new year coming up quick, it's an excellently timed read.  The content is wonderful and, as I'm learning about creating posts for the general population, the site is a prime example of how to do things correctly.  Great job Courtney!!

I love routine and setting goals.  Courtney's concept of pivoting to change one's routines if they are not beneficial is critical.  She also uses the terms inflation and deflation for adjustments made to daily routines based on one's energy.  These concepts are similar to the spoon theory I use to address my energy crises.  I've learned the hard way that I need to establish a realistic base line.  I currently have a comfortable routine in place, would like to take steps to expand.

It just so happens, last month I invited several women to participate in a collaboration event. We will meet on a monthly basis with a different person hosting the event each time. The goal is to help the host with a task she assigns.  The group serves, has fun, bonds, and grows.  I'm excited to foster my relationships in this way.  I am both collaborating and rotating my routine, as Courtney suggests in her post. Winning!

Recently I accepted a position, three days a week, as a driver.  Believe it or not, this is job is a form of self care.  I chose this job because it has flexibility, fits my physical limitations, has a team atmosphere, and should never boring.  I will still have a day to "unroutine", in Courtney's terms.

While many people are focused on making subtractions in their schedules, I am confident making these additions.  I have made great progress in my minimalist journey and believe I am choosing wisely.  I am focused on self care and growing friendships.  The money I earn will be used toward goals set jointly by my husband and myself.  I'm ready!

I Choose

As I declutter and create "negative" or empty space, there are some that want me to fill it.  I want to Feng Shui everything.  I want empty space.  I have a dream of downsizing to a three bedroom home with 2 bathrooms.  Part of me believes if we downsized it we be a mental game that would thwart the need others have to fill our empty space.  I imagine the house being under 1500 sq. feet as I expect to have over night guests and would like to host gatherings.  And I want the basement for two reasons: 1) I live in the Midwest and want it as a tornado shelter 2) Part of my simple living goals include learning to can and dry food so I can buy only those foods offered from local farmers at the farmers' market.

Having only that which brings me joy in my home, my relationships, and my schedule is liberating.  Chores bring me joy.  I am taking care of my loved ones when I clean the bathroom, scoop poop, do laundry, buy food, and pay bills.  It's all good.  I don't have to spend time with negative people or fill my schedule with things I detest.  I choose.

I need to do a better job conveying the fact that I am on a minimalist mission and the benefits I have experienced so far because of it.  There seems to be some pushback from people who choose differently.  I'm really happy with my choices and my accomplishments.

For the record:
My house is much cleaner.  It is much easier and quicker to pick up.
Laundry is done regularly and is not the stressor it use to be before my capsule wardrobe.
I enjoy being in my kitchen and using my beloved tools to cook my family tasty meals.
I have time to love on my animals without feeling guilty about what needs to be done around the house.
I can host guests spur of the moment with my guest room prepped and the bathroom clean.
I waste far less food following a meal plan because I'm far less tired from not spinning my wheels.
I have time to foster authentic friendships.
I have time for self care, even if I'm not sure yet what to do.  I'm taking time to figure it out.
My family thinks I'm a rockstar superwoman and they're right!

Winter Capsule Wardrobe Week #3

I've enjoyed the cooler, yet sunny, weather this week.  I got to wear my sweaters and my coat.  I recycle my black slacks frequently as they are super comfortable and a great weight.  The jeans are getting more comfortable as I continue to heal from surgery.

Supporting My Love's Blue Mondays:

This outfit looked much better without one arm raised.  I love the sweater.

Chilly day before Christmas allowed me to wear my green sweater.  Doesn't get much sweeter.

Feel Good Friday did not disappoint.  It's hard to feel bad looking this good.

I love all my clothes, I really do.  Looking at these pictures, it's obvious that the last outfit compliments my shape the best by far.  I will keep that in mind as I move forward with my wardrobe in the spring.

Home is a Sanctuary

I enjoyed reading this poignant article entitled "How to create a luxurious life everyday life."  The article reinforced many of my current life choices, including my recent investment in stylish bras and panties.

1. Cook at Home - check.  I'm even branching out by making more meals that don't involve the crock pot to be more balanced, adding more spices, and trying new recipes.  The family is loving it.

2. Indulge in Cafe Time - good idea.  I've really wanted to join the coloring craze but when I'm home I find myself distracted by other things.  I think the cafe would be a great place to color and let my mind wonder.

3. Wear Luxurious Lingerie Everyday - check.  It may not be very swanky, but for my big girl body, I'm pleased I made the fore-mentioned investment in stylish undergarments.  I may have to look into something even more luxurious in the future.

4. Let Go of Busy - Done!

5. Cultivate a Capsule Wardrobe for Each Season - Couldn't agree more! I love my capsule wardrobe.  I also appreciate the word choice, "cultivate."  It takes some effort to find the perfect pieces but I believe it's totally worth it and so am I.  My wardrobe is an extension of love.

6.  Follow Your Own Schedule,  was an immediate - Done!  Then I read the description that included, "...listen to what is nudging you, calling your name and that is where you will find the unexpected beauty."  I'm not sure I have been doing that so I need to work on listening to what is calling me and finding unexpected beauty.

7. Discover a Personal Scent. - Alright! Time to revisit my avoidance of perfume.  Seriously, I stopped wearing it when my kids were infants because it was too much.  Now that they are young adults, I really should try again.  I like the thought of adding that touch.

8. Subscribe to Daily/Weekly/Monthly Periodicals.  This is far more challenging with my minimalist goals. The suggestion encourages regular learning and expansion of one's interests.  I may have to look into electronic versions.  I know Amazon Kindle offers numerous titles for free in the New Year as well as different times throughout the year.  Detective mode activated.  I don't want to spend money or clutter my home with subscriptions.

9. Save Time and Don't Wash Your Hair Everyday - True Dat!  My hair and scalp is much healthier when I give it regular rest between shampoos.

10. Invest in Quality Skin Care - Can I get an Amen!  I made this very investment earlier this year and it has been a true blessing.  I have subtracted acne from my face and I feel great.  I'm also subtracting some lines, dark circles, and unevenness in my complexion.  Forties are feeling fabulous!

11. Design a Workout Regimen to Look Forward To - Hit me where it hurts.  My current physical health issues make this out of the question for at least three months.  That being said, it will be the first thing I visit in the spring.

12. Find Time to Treasure Hunt - I do enjoy going on treasure hunts with and for friends.  I think if I apply it to myself, it will entail hunting for doable home improvements and that perfect thing for my dream home.

13. Be Sincere, Yet Kind - This is an ongoing process.  I do my best to be, in my word, authentic.  It is crucial to my personal values.  So glad to see it is on the list for a luxurious lifestyle.

14. Shop at Local Vendors and Boutiques - Yup, Yup.  I love my farmers' market and do my best to shop local.  A fabulous little clothing boutique just opened up very close to my home.  I was extra pleased that the shop owner has plus size options.  I purchased a top to wear for my Christmas events.

15.  Eat Real Food - As a Celiac, I eat very few processed foods.  They are quite expensive to purchase gluten free.  I will continue to explore seasonal food options to reach the maximum fresh flavor from the foods I prepare at home.

16. Elevate the Conversation - No gossiping or whining - Check.  I have started elevating the conversation at the dinner table to go beyond, "How was your day?"  Now I am hitting the hard topics  of sex, religion, and politics.  Yah, I went there!

17. Create an Evening Routine to Look Forward To - um, okay.  That requires a level of self care at the end of the day that is very challenging for me.  15 minutes?  I can, surely, do that.  Now to figure out what to do.

18. Schedule Regular Spa Appointments for Beauty and Health Maintenance - If my monthly haircut to maintain my pixie cut counts, I'm in.  I choose to spend my beauty budget on my wonderful skin care products.  There's an occasional trip to get a pedicure before a wedding or something.  I'm good with that.

19. Stock a Bar Cart for Spur-of-the-Moment Entertaining - My friends are not big drinkers, or drinkers at all really.  I do feel that keeping my house on the tidy side frees me up to make entertaining offers very spur of the moment so I will continue with that challenge and make it a point to open my home at least once a week to guests.

20. Fill Your Home With Inspired Music - That goes without saying in our home.  We are big music fans and love sharing our new finds.  Good to go!

Because many of the suggestions are done in the home, I found myself asking, "Is my home a sanctuary?"  I agree that our everyday lives should be something to enjoy and celebrate.  When subtracting or adding items in the New Year I can ask, "Does this add to my home feeling/being like a sanctuary?"

Family Focus

During my presentation last week, I shared my personal motivation question when decluttering: Do I want my kids to deal with this if I die tomorrow?  It's been an important question during this first year of subtraction.  I believe this question will change in 2016.  My next few posts will be exploring what that question may be.  If you know your question, I would love to hear it.

This weekend I braved the mall with my mom, it was her wish.  I have already completed my Christmas shopping. The gifts I purchased this year were few in number, well thought out, and very meaningful.  I am pleased I had the time to find the right gifts, at the right price.  It's amazing what minimalism can do to help keep the family in focus.

There were a couple necessity items, bras & socks, on my list that were very manageable.  I was able to purchase them at one store.  I enjoyed the time I had with my mom at the mall because we were not urgently searching for just the right gift.  We drifted in and out of stores, chatting away.  I wasn't worried about making my next commitment or any chores that needed to be done.

As I reflect on our mall experience and my gift choices this year, I believe a compelling question for me in the coming year as I work to limit the items coming into my home, fill my calendar, and choose to fill my time, will need to keep a my family as my main focus.

Question #1 - Will this choice keep my family as my focus?

Winter Capsule Wardrobe Week #2

I faithfully dressed from my capsule wardrobe this week except the day I was out of commission.  I haven't worn my pearls in a while and I almost forgot how much I enjoy them.  It's been so warm that the first outfit is actually a cammy and a light weight, short sleeved cardigan.  I was still hot.

I decided to honor the sun and all its warmth with my sun shirt.  Thankfully I was able to remove the outer layer when the afternoon hit 65 degrees.  I enjoy my headbands too.

Simple outfit; no need for layers with the wonderful weather.

A little bit dressier outfit for my husband's Christmas party.  The scarf is from a hometown friend.  The shirt is from a boutique that opened up near me that has nice clothes for reasonable prices.  And did you notice the jeans?  That's right!  I wore jeans.  I also put on a layer of make-up. 

Monday Decluttering Reset

The weekends are pleasantly full in our house.  Our kids are in and out with activities, my husband and I try to get out of the house for an activity, and the dogs love all the attention they get.  Inevitably, Monday is a reset with the amount of clean up there is to do.  I make the choice to save all cleaning until the work week because I consider housekeeping my job as I do not work outside the home.  The weekend if for the family.

The routine is different from my focused 15 minutes.  Monday is devoted to the decluttering reset so I can slowly progress through everything.  I start with a long shower with my favorite tunes.  I pamper myself with lotions and potions.  The house gets the same type of treatment.   It's very cathartic.

Here are the before and after pictures.

My husband asks me daily, "How did your day go?"  I usually give a neutral response of, "Ok."  The surprising thing is when I start to tell him what I've accomplished in a day, he always calls me on my neutral response.  He knows I'm a rockstar, even if I'm not sure.  Last month, I challenged myself to no whining.  This month I will choose to be positive and accept that I am enough.  Life is good.

Making the Most of the Thrift Store

I am making a conscious effort to reduce my carbon/environmental footprint.  I wouldn't go so far to call myself an environmental minimalist, but I'm starting.  I've decided to use the thrift store for as many items as I can.  Online shopping like Amazon is extremely convenient, but I'm determined to try the local thrift place that is near by first.  I don't go to the thrift store without a purpose.  I have specific items and a plan to use them with a relatively short time frame.  This is my way to combat clutter that takes up space.  Recently I have purchased:

1) Ice Cube Trays - I took a friend's advice to freeze milk and yogurt for daily power smoothies.  I actually went to a box store first and was not successful.  It opened my mind to the possibilities.

2) A basket and bows - I used in making a raffle basket for a charity.  The basket was $1 and so was the bag of bows.  I used it immediate upon getting home. I wish I had snagged a picture, it looked great when it was done.

3) Wrapping tissue - It's new and still in its original packaging.  With Christmas around the corner, I couldn't pass up the deal.  I used it the next day while wrapping present.

4) Books - A friend of my daughter makes a version of an altered book by creating artwork on the pages of old books.  Sometimes the art relates to the story on the page and other times, it does not. I gave them to her the next time I saw her and she was delighted.

5) T-Shirts for a themed quilt - You might have noticed I'm into a turtle theme.  I would really like a t-shirt quilt along those lines sometime in the future.  I have started looking now so I only use what I love and not the items that are available when the time comes. This requires some storage space but I've made that choice

6) Pearls - enough said, right? I wear them regularly.

As you can see, I had a plan for each purchase.  I put the items to use within days, save the t-shirts for which I have a long term goal.  I use this same philosophy when going to a regular store.  The thrift store is wily because there's a sense that the item will not be there next time and certainly not for such a low price and there's always some use for it.

Go in to a store with a plan.  Don't purchase what you don't need.  Make use of the item(s) purchased asap.

Winter Capsule Wardrobe Week #1

I dressed to go out three times this week.  I'm definitely looking forward to my haircut next week.  It seemed my hair didn't want to behave.

I love my skin care products from Roden and Fields.

I have fought acne all my life and I finally have decluttered my face.  It's so nice to have smooth, clear skin!

My other good news is I dropped 11 pounds this week!  Yup, I'm happy to be gaining momentum toward my daily routine.  It helps keep the pounds off.