Monday, March 14, 2016

Whiney-Butt Phases

Ever just wanna be done with something?  Maybe a diet for a special event?  Maybe the special event?  Maybe a garage sale?  Maybe a drive?  You're getting the gist, right?  Well, I'm there.  Last night I had my breaking moment.  I'm only half way done with recovery from surgery and I very much want to be done.

I was accustomed to my pre-surgery daily routine.  I would do a load of laundry, choose a meal for dinner, pay a bill, and shop for the day's groceries in the morning.  I needed an hour power nap in the early afternoon.  I would clean-up between 4-5 so my husband would be oh-so-happy when he got home from work.  I started cooking at 5 and I was done at 6pm.  And I do mean done.  I did not go out.  I stayed off the computer.  I was lucky to stay awake past 9pm.  And I was up early the next day to start my routine again.  My version of minimalism served me well, but that was then, this is now.

I don't like asking for help with basic things.  I hate being exhausted even more quickly than before.  My power hour nap takes a good portion of the afternoon.  Cooking consists of tossing a frozen meal in the slow cooker.  Yes, I made those meals before I had surgery.  I just really miss the creative outlet of choosing and preparing our dinner each day.

What's missing from the picture is gratitude.  The whiney-butt that I am is not seeing all the things for which there are to be thankful.  A diet is a chance to choose healthy food for my body.  A special event is a chance to connect and maybe celebrate with family and friends.  A garage sale is a chance to bless others with items I no longer use and maybe earn a little cash.  A drive means I have a car with places to go and things/people to see.  Recovery is a chance to let others do for me.  It's a chance to let my body heal and be better than before.  With success, I won't have the limitations I did before surgery.  I would like to keep my routine, for it served me well.  Being healthier is a chance to go beyond my routine and serve more people.  That is what's in my heart; service to others.  Shame on me for not accepting the service others share with me during my time of healing.

I see now, reading back through this very post, that my version of minimalism needs to focus on gratitude.  Contentment is at the heart of happiness.  I believe one reaches contentment through gratitude.  I not only have enough, I am enough, and I am grateful for the many blessings in my life even if it takes a raw and honest post to work through the whiney-butt phases.


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