Ever just wanna be done with something? Maybe a diet for a special event? Maybe the special event? Maybe a garage sale? Maybe a drive? You're getting the gist, right? Well, I'm there. Last night I had my breaking moment. I'm only half way done with recovery from surgery and I very much want to be done.
I was accustomed to my pre-surgery daily routine. I would do a load of laundry, choose a meal for dinner, pay a bill, and shop for the day's groceries in the morning. I needed an hour power nap in the early afternoon. I would clean-up between 4-5 so my husband would be oh-so-happy when he got home from work. I started cooking at 5 and I was done at 6pm. And I do mean done. I did not go out. I stayed off the computer. I was lucky to stay awake past 9pm. And I was up early the next day to start my routine again. My version of minimalism served me well, but that was then, this is now.
I don't like asking for help with basic things. I hate being exhausted even more quickly than before. My power hour nap takes a good portion of the afternoon. Cooking consists of tossing a frozen meal in the slow cooker. Yes, I made those meals before I had surgery. I just really miss the creative outlet of choosing and preparing our dinner each day.
What's missing from the picture is gratitude. The whiney-butt that I am is not seeing all the things for which there are to be thankful. A diet is a chance to choose healthy food for my body. A special event is a chance to connect and maybe celebrate with family and friends. A garage sale is a chance to bless others with items I no longer use and maybe earn a little cash. A drive means I have a car with places to go and things/people to see. Recovery is a chance to let others do for me. It's a chance to let my body heal and be better than before. With success, I won't have the limitations I did before surgery. I would like to keep my routine, for it served me well. Being healthier is a chance to go beyond my routine and serve more people. That is what's in my heart; service to others. Shame on me for not accepting the service others share with me during my time of healing.
I see now, reading back through this very post, that my version of minimalism needs to focus on gratitude. Contentment is at the heart of happiness. I believe one reaches contentment through gratitude. I not only have enough, I am enough, and I am grateful for the many blessings in my life even if it takes a raw and honest post to work through the whiney-butt phases.
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