Can You See What They See?

Today is officially two weeks post-op.  Yesterday I had my check-up and I passed.  It was only one day into my recovery at home that I was feeling quite worthless.  To say I felt unattractive is being nice.  That changed yesterday as I got ready for my day and spent a good long while in front of the mirror, something I never do.  I loved at my lumps and the curves they created.  I noticed my smooth and soft skin.  I smiled at my tattoos because they hold such meaning.  They've been covered up a lot lately and the reminder of their significance was good for me.  As I stared into the mirror, I loved what I saw for the first time in a long time.  I loved myself.  And that's what I needed.

I have managed to declutter the parts of the house that are used most.  There's the cat room and the basement that still need my attention.  Their time will come when I'm done with recovery.  I'm finally at the point I can focus on the habits that keep the clutter at bay.  Things like handling the mail as it comes into the house.  Keeping the kitchen island clear.  Running the dishwasher every night and unloading it first thing in the morning. Doing a load of laundry everyday, no matter how small.  Staying off Amazon and only shopping for necessities.  Making sure there are healthy food options in the house and providing a tasty, clean dinner - every night.

The things I mentioned are things I have implemented throughout the last year of my minimalist journey.  Drinking myself in as I looked in the mirror yesterday and finally loving all 240+ pound of me, I made the decision to focus making healthy food choices my next priority.  I would like to declutter my sugar intake first.  I'm no longer looking to diet because I hate myself.  Rather, I'm choosing to be good to myself and eat better because I love myself.  That's huge paradigm shift.  I will no longer hide from the mirror.  Each day I will be there and be present as I say affirmations about myself and my choices.  I'm done with self-hatred.  I will see the woman my husband loves so dearly.  I will see the Mom my kids think is the best.  I will see the friend that others care about.  I am all of those things and I love myself.