Winter Outfit #1

On Tuesday, just 4 days ago, I had another surgery that lasted 3 hours to repair some issues with the surgery on the 13th. I made a promise to myself that I would put my winter capsule wardrobe to use when I got back in the real world.  There was also a promise made to my son a while back that I would make my famous lasagna that his dad always remembers fondly.  I haven't made it since I was diagnosed a Celiac over 6 years ago.

This afternoon I went to the grocery store to purchase lasagna ingredients and put this outfit together -

I put on make-up and styled my hair with mousse.  I wanted to blow it dry, but my hair dryer was MIA.  I'm certain one of the girls in the house must have borrowed it.

The decision to go to the nicer grocery provided self care by minimizing stops and offered a drive up service to load my car.  I remembered by reusable bags to minimize my environmental footprint as well. 

My famous lasagna retained its pedestal status.  My son has informed me that I can never again purchase Stouffers lasagna.  It has been a successful day.

Capsule Wardrobe Winterized

I'm learning so much in my journey.  I am learning to focus.  I have the time to enjoy the little things I love so much.  Even though I have been out of commission recovering from surgery, I have a bright outlook because I've learned that I can bring my house back in order in a short amount of time combining focus and joy.

Today I will be winterizing my 33 times as I have officially turned on the heat.  I will remove the skirts because they are simply too cold for me.  I will replace them with warm pants.  I have light weight cardigans that I will be switching out for heavier/warmer styles.  That means a bit of shopping for me.  Thankfully, I finally found shoes that are appropriate for winter and properly support my tendonitis ridden feet just before I had surgery.

With my epiphany regarding self care, I am making it my goal to utilized my wardrobe each day as well as do my hair and make up.  Its unlikely that I will have plans to go out everyday but I'm doing this for me.  I like myself in the 33 items I have chosen.  I enjoy the compliments my husband gives me when I make an effort.  For the record, he gives me compliments when I'm in sweats and have bed head hair.  It's just hard to accept those.

I'm going to make this journey more public and start posting pictures on my blog.  Get ready.  It's going to be fun!

Self Care

A questioned that comes up often in my circle is, "What do you do for self care?"  The typical response ranges from getting a Starbucks coffee to a spa day.  These things are deemed for special occasions in my book.  They definitely qualify as treating oneself, but I think we're looking at the question wrong.  I think self care is something we should do everyday.

When I think of how I care for my kids, spouse, or pups, I immediately think of providing food.  Then I think of activities.  I think of clothing, quality sleep, and entertainment.  If I translate that into my own care, I need to be feeding myself properly.  I need to insure quality sleep.  I need to exercise, wear clothing I love, and do some fun things too.  As a mom, I am guilty of neglecting all of those things.  Basic things to many people.

When I had surgery last week, the importance of self care became very clear.  I found myself extremely tired and hungry with an afternoon procedure scheduled.  I became very negative and complained a lot.  It demonstrated how much easier it is to keep a positive attitude when I'm well rested and have eaten properly.  It's important to keep those things in mind during the holiday season.

My capsule wardrobe helps me feel my best with the greatest of ease.  I am no longer overwhelmed by choices of sub-par options.  My FitBit allows me to connect to family and friends all over and have fun with challenges while meeting my goals.

I appreciate that life has slowed down as a result of my minimalism. It allows me to focus on basic self care daily.  I don't have to go out of my way, let alone my house, to be good to myself.  That's a huge lesson.

What cha gonna do about it?

As November approaches, I'm looking forward to a new challenge.  It's easy to suspect a gratitude challenge, but that's not it.  No, I'm going to challenge myself not to complain.  There are plenty of studies that support the idea that one needs only to choose to be happy and the day will go better.  As one that struggles with depression, I find the suggestion to "just decide to be happy" repulsive.  I do not choose depression.  It is a beast that leaves a person feeling powerless.  Complaining is often a symptom of powerlessness and/or something one does to seek attention.  So, what cha gonna do about it?

If one feels powerless, how about trying to reestablish power?  Ask, "What can I do about this?"  For instance, recently I have been struggling with my Celiac symptoms and racking my brain on how or where I might have poisoned myself.  I was assuming food was the issue since I had the privilege of eating out on several occasions.  I buckled down and only ate what I cooked and still had issues.  I did complain about the situation and then I did some hard thinking and the only thing different was a pain med I was taking.  I went into action and called the pharmacy who gave me the manufacturer's name.  I went online and found that my prescription did, in fact, contain gluten.  More complaining on my part.  Then I started thinking about this post and what I could do about it.  Well, I called my doctor and left a message asking for a non-generic & gluten-free pain killer.  Power reestablished.

I shall now embark on a month, minimum, without complaining.  I'm sure I will catch myself complaining plenty of times in the beginning, which is why I'm giving myself a few days head start.  The plan is to catch myself earlier and earlier in the complaining cycle and be a person of action rather than complaint.  If I truly cannot do anything, I will use the serenity prayer and ask for help to accept the situation. 

Clutter-Free Christmas Gift Ideas

If you travel, this list is valuable so you don't have to pack or send or wrap a bunch of gifts.  If you have family that travels to you, these gifts are great so your traveling family members don't have to figure out how to get the gifts home.  If you're a minimalist, these gifts are a blessing because they create memories and not clutter.

1) Membership to a
a) zoo
b) science center
c) museums
d) activity center
e) theme park
f) arboretum

2) Gift certificate to
a) cooking class
b) restaurant/coffee shop
c) dinner theatre
d) hot air balloon ride
e) race car school
f) car detailing
g) movie

A more budget friendly option is to purchase a gas card and then research free attractions in your loved one's area that they can travel to or just help them get home. (Seriously as one who travels for most holidays, gas cards are a blessing.)

I'll keep thinking on this, but this was in my brain today and I needed to share.  Hope it's helpful.

The Biggest Subtraction

As of 2012, more than 10% of children live with at least one parent that is an alcoholic. (Source)
One in six women will be a victim of sexual assault.
15% are under the age of 12. (Source)
97% know their attacker.
34% are incest.
Rape victims will develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is between 50-90% of the time. (source)
Rape victims are four time more likely to have contemplated suicide than non-crime victims and 13 times more likely to have attempted suicide. (source)
There is a nice chart found on this website with a breakdown on the types of abuse and at what rate they are experienced by children.  The largest being 28.3% experience a physically abusive home.  Another dreadful fact is that adult survivors of an abusive home are likely to die two decades before their non abused peers.

Why do I share this, because I'm hurting and raw with emotion.  I am fighting every day against the odds I just listed.  I have been abused physically & mentally.  I have been raped by someone I know.  I have PTSD.  And, shocking to many, I know at any given moment how I can/would end my life.  Sometimes the depression and trauma response to a trigger are so intense the only escape is to know I have control to end it all.  However, suicide is not an option for me.  I made a promise to my family that I would never do that.  They have promised to be by my side and hang tough through the swings.

At a recent visit to my psychiatrist, he very bluntly shared many of these statistics with me and "prepared" me for the difficult road ahead like I didn't know about it.  I have been hospitalized six times.  I have a well stocked tool box of top-notch equipment I use fairly deafly to present myself to the world as "normal."  That should give a clue to how difficult things are right now that I would describe myself as raw with emotion.  I hurt physically.  I hurt and struggle emotionally.  I can't sleep and I'm exhausted.

The biggest subtraction I can hope for is one day to be free of the pain, numb to the triggers, and done with the constant battle against the demons I face.  I know I am not alone.  I also know that no one can change what has happened and it is up to me to do the work necessary to heal.  I wish there was a respite place, not the psych unit where they teach me about the tools I already know and use, but a place where I'm cared for like a child the way I wasn't as a child.

This post is likely to cause people that love me to hurt.  That is not my intent.  My husband, my children, and my mom are all fully supportive in any way possible to ease my pain and struggles. I am so blessed to have them in my life.  I love you and all that you do for me.  Don't give up on me.  I'm fighting the good fight with everything I have.

Don't Stop Believin'

My plans of completing the front landscaping this weekend didn't quite complete themselves.  It's okay, I made great progress and great weather is forecasted for several days.  Thank you, Jesus.

If you are familiar with the song by Journey, "Don't Stop Believin," you know the next line is, "Hold On To That Feelin."  It is so important to my journey to keep a journal of the good times so it's easier to hold on to the feelings of accomplishment.  Set backs happen and I don't want to stop believing my goals are possible, because they ARE.

The most important thing is for me to believe in myself.  When I'm running low on self powered belief, I need to reach out and listen to the support of friends.  The type of friends that share your vision, some that have known you a while, and some that have only just met but already speak truth and encouragement to you.  The people on my Facebook group by the same name are these type of people; loving, encouraging, & inspiring.

With October bringing about the onset of the Holiday Prep Season, I have proposed to my group that we do a de-crapifying challenge with the goal to have a more peaceful and enjoyable Holiday Season.  The ground rules for the challenge, declutter a number of items that matches the date of the month.  On that day, the items are to be out of the house (in the trash or donated).  Our goal is not organizing on this one.  We need to have less stuff in the house so there will be less stress.

Thursday, Oct. 1st - Rid your house of    1    clutter item.  Starting with something a small as a sheet of paper is A-OK.

Friday, Oct. 2nd - Rid your house of   2   clutter items.
*Bonus Friday project, find out about bulk pick-up in your town and if there are any hazardous waste dump sites/dates coming up.

Saturday, Oct. 3rd - Rid your house of    3   clutter items.  (I'm really starting to feel like The Count on Sesame Street.)
*Bonus Saturday project - Start talking to your kids now about the meaning of Christmas and the possibility of donating some of their toys to kids in need.  Very soon you will start seeing donation sites offered by the Marines and such.  I know a very good local charity, Mission Southside, will be collecting donations for their free garage sales.

Sunday, Oct. 4th - Day of rest.  You've started strong this weekend.  Maybe fill the family in on your challenge and see if they can be recruited for the next week.  Find something to use as a gratitude journal.

Monday, Oct. 5th - Rid your house of   5   clutter items.  I don't know about you but I have to go on some major upkeep missions on Monday after a busy weekend.  I'm personally going for a trash bag or two on this day.  Maybe your 5 items will fit in a plastic grocery sack and call it good!

Tuesday, Oct. 6th - Rid your house of    6   clutter items.  I hope Mother Nature will have decided at this point that we are entering fall and I will be able to make some meaningful decisions on my fall wardrobe.  I've actually lost some weight so there will be things leaving my closet and going to the Closet Mentor or Savers.

Wednesday, Oct 7th - Rid your house of   7  lucky/unlucky clutter items.  I think anything broken fits in this category.  And I hate to add that they will likely be of sentimental value, but are they really bringing you joy?

Thursday, Oct 8th - Ready for the weekend? Almost?  Rid your house of   8   clutter items.  I will tackle the freezer on this day to make space for holiday gluten-free treats.

Friday, Oct. 9th - Rid your house of   9   clutter items.  I'll be keeping Halloween in mind for this challenge.  Costumes that can be donated, items repurposed for others' costumes, Mission Southside will see my face once again.

Saturday, Oct. 10th - Rid your house of   10  clutter items.  It's getting real at this point.  Have you checked under the sinks recently?  I'm guessing I can find 10 things to send to the hazardous waste site.

Sunday, Oct. 11th - Day of Rest.  This has been quite the productive week.  A gratitude journal entry may be a good idea or starting one (use stuff from around the house - no need to buy a pretty journal at this point.)

Monday, Oct. 12th - Rid your house of   12   clutter items.  How many loner socks you got?  There's an adorable preschool type snowman project on Pinterest right now.  Find it, print out the instructions, and then DONATE the socks to a local preschool or elementary school.  Budget cuts are serious my friends.  Our school teachers need the help.

Tuesday, Oct. 13th - Rid your house of   13  clutter items.  I'm going back to the toys today.  If you don't have kids, you likely have hobbies and hobby supplies that might bless someone else who is looking to make something for the holidays.  Don't hoard that stuff.  Visit the nursing home with some yarn, craft paper, glue sticks, etc.

Wednesday, Oct. 14th - Rid your house of   14   clutter items.  Oh, hump day, how I love thee.  Winter is coming and blankets will be used, but I think 30 is too many for me.  I KNOW there are people in great need of these items and I will be blessed by giving generously.

Thursday, Oct. 15th - Are you ready for the weekend?  The busy Holiday season really is getting close and I appreciate my bedroom being a sanctuary so I'm getting Rid of   15   clutter items from my bedroom.

Friday, Oct. 16th - Mad Dash Day for the parties, trick-or-treaters, and such, BUT First you must Rid your house of   16   clutter items.  May I suggest going through the kitchen.  Take stock, what are you REALLY going to need in the next 90 days.  I bet there's at least 16 things that don't make the list.

Saturday, Oct. 17th - Hey, Kids!  Mom's got this Saturday thing where she likes putting things into perspective.  Let's decide now how we are going to handle any excess candy.  This applies to homes without small children as well.  Know where that candy is going to go Nov. 1st.  Staying in the house is not an option.  (The trash is - shhhh - I won't tell.)  Oh, and we need to get rid of   17   clutter items.  I hear witched witches like shoes.  What's your shoe situation.  Can you manage 8 pairs and spare?  Bet you can! (I won't tell family members about this one either.)

Sunday, Oct. 18th - Day of Rest.  Another journal entry perhaps?  I knew you could do it.  You're amazing!!!

Monday, Oct. 19th - Rid your house of   19   clutter items.  Did you know you only have to keep tax stuff for 7 years?  We're all afraid of the IRS but I don't need the water bills from my house 7 years ago in a different state.   Seriously.  You need pay stubs, itemized deductions receipts, donation receipts, medical expenses, and maybe a few other items for your individual situation.  Water bills, electric bills, cable bills, phone bills, newspaper subscriptions, magazines.... You may find you have 19 pounds instead of items.  (My donation last week was 32 pounds and cost $25 to be shred by a service in two seconds flat.)

Tuesday, Oct. 20th - Rid your house of    20   clutter items.  This is a big number and the weather is changing so how about an outdoor challenge.  Spruce up the landscaping, do some raking, pick up sticks (kids are great at that one), get rid of annuals that have passed their due date.  Bag it up and get it to the curb or the recycling station.  Your house is going to look so sweet for the Holidays!

Wednesday, Oct 21st - Rid your house of   21   clutter items.  I spent significant time over the Labor Day weekend going through pictures and hanging those most meaningful to our family.  Now it's time to revisit what is left over.  I'm sure I can find 21 pictures that will be a blessing to friends and family with a nifty little note of the importance of their role in our lives.

Thursday, Oct 22nd - Is it almost the weekend, AGAIN!!! Man this challenge is keeping me on my toes.  Toes...Toes..Mistletoes!! I'm going to tackle some of our holiday decorations.  I don't want to be too emotional as I start decorating.  I can do this, donate   22   items.  I can bless someone before the crazy part of the season starts and it will help them celebrate their blessings like I'm so privileged to do.

Friday, Oct 23rd - Make a menu based on items you already have in the pantry, fridge, and freezer.  Pull them out and start cooking.  (Think soups if you're not sure what to do.)  If you can eat from these three sources and NOT go to the grocery store this week, you will have rid your home of at least    23    items, leaving room for Holiday supplies.

Saturday, Oct. 24th - It's the final countdown.  Costumes - Check? Party supplies - Check? Pet care - Check?  Well then, let's rock this joint, rock it inside out!  Divide 24 by the total number of rooms in your house.  For me I have 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, kitchen, dining room, front room, and 2 living rooms.  That's 15 rooms.  I'll take off my son and daughters bedrooms and bathrooms.  That's just over two items from each room.  No problem!!  Savers will LOVE me!

Sunday, Oct. 25th - Day of rest and a journal entry.

Monday, Oct. 26th - Let's pretend in our heads that it's actually December 26th.  You know that day with all the wrapping paper to throw away, new toys & gifts to integrate into the house, the relief that you made it?  What   26 things can you rid your home of today that will make that day easier?  Make a sweep of the toy room?  Make a concerted effort in the garage?  (Cars like being in the garage in the winter.  Keeps 'em happy and me too because I don't have to freeze while I scrape the windows.)  Dare I say the word, "Basement?" or is "Attic" more scary?  It is almost Halloween so I'm going for scary here.

Tuesday, Oct. 27th - Two-Fer-Tuesday.  What duplicates do you have around the house?  Would some of them make excellent gifts?  If not for your family and friends, then a family in need?  Ask the church what they may need for their charity drive.  Toilet paper, soap, shampoos, other things for mission trips, stocking up for the cold season for a homeless shelter.  Get the list, often online.  You got this!!!!

Wednesday, Oct. 28th - Hang with me here.  I would like to make this a paper challenge with a twist. Find   28 pieces of paper to declutter.  Then on each one with a Sharpie marker, I want you to write out negative thoughts, words, catch phrases, memories, etc on the paper and have yourself a cathartic burning party.  I can preach safety, but I respect you're all adults and can manage this task in the most healing and safe way possible.

Thursday, Oct. 29th - Boo! It's Halloween weekend.  You've done a fantastic job and I'm so proud of you!  You've made it through almost the entire week without going to the grocery store.  Impressive!  Now I want you to recycle   29   plastic bags.  Bonus points for more. :)

Friday, Oct. 30th - This may be your town's "Beggars' Night."  If so, I'm sure you can be generous and give out   30   items to the little ones at your door.   Don't judge the big kids, just give 'em the candy.  It may be the only food they get over the weekend.  It may be the first time they've made friends since starting high school.  They can burn through the calories much faster than I can so let them have it.

Saturday, Oct. 31 - Remember that plan we had for any extra candy?  Before going to bed, load it up in the car to be taken to the destination of choice (or just toss it in the trash.  it's okay. it really is.)

You challenge is complete and by my calculations; you've decluttered 438 items from your home.  You Rock!!!!!!!!!!