Cha, Cha, Cha, Changes

I watched "Hoarding, Buried Alive" last night for the first time this year.  Last year I binged watched it until they started to repeat shows.  Some watch the show and say, "Thank God, I'm not that bad."  For me, it's very motivating.  I'm not in a hoarding situation and I never want material things to have power over me.

Last night's episode featured an older couple. They were forced to deal with their problem after the ambulance team reported them to to the county. The gurney wouldn't make it to the bedroom.  The wife admitted she was purposefully not taking her medication because she wanted to end her life.   The three adult children were the support group along with a licensed counselor.  It was so sad to see the mom focus on hoard items when her children were trying desperately to gain her attention.  The counselor then explained how addiction works and holds an immense power to consume the hoarder.  Then I got to thinking about my situation in a different way.  Yesterday morning, when I stepped on the scale, I hit an all time high number: 250.  Maybe I was watching this episode it an attempt to feel better about myself.  Maybe I have an addiction.

I made it a topic of my therapy session today.  My therapist reminded me that I deal with lot of health issues for which I take medication.  That medication is what peaked my weight in the first place.  In recent months, life has thrown a few emotional curve balls.  I had back-to-back surgeries and numerous medication changes, in November alone, to improve a chronic condition.  My therapist concluded that I have not misplaced an addiction because I didn't start with one.  Yes turned to comfort food in a time of stress and frustration.  It has added about 20 pounds to an already large number made by the meds.

I guess when I think about it, this is a journey and I have to tackle minimizing my stuff everyday.  Whether it's household items, emotional baggage, weight, memorabilia, food, or cyber clutter, it has to be dealt with on a regular basis.  And that's what I'm doing.  I'm not running from the situation.  I am positive I can make the changes needed to make the change needed.