Relaxation Induced Anxiety

A simpler life let's me focus on things that matter to me.  I'm no longer buying into the consumerism propaganda to fill a void.  I enjoy helping others.  Random acts of kindness are my passion.  For those close to me, I need to work on the concept of "holding space" for them.  I read an excellent post about it here.  (It will be the subject of a separate post later.)

With a simpler life taking shape, I find I have less physical and mental clutter.  Unfortunately I struggle with relaxation induced anxiety.  It's a condition many who suffer from PTSD or are survivors of abuse deal with. It became very apparent it was a huge issue for me during my first stay in the trauma unit of a mental hospital.  I would lose it every time the group practiced meditation or guided relaxation or other forms of calming the mind.  I needed several medication to knock me out and let me sleep.

There is a sense of security when I'm on guard.  I'm prepared and less likely to be a victim of bad things.  When I slow down and begin to relax, I start to feel anxious because I'm not "in control." Bedtime is the worst due to the level or relaxation needed to achieve sleep.  It is the time when the walls start to come down and I battle the memories, feelings, and the triggers I've kept at bay during the day take hold.

You may be wondering what relaxation induced anxiety and minimalism have to do with each other and I can only relay my experience.  By minimizing my home & my schedule, I am taking control of my relaxed moments.  They are no longer a forced thing.  I have time when I'm in my comfy cozy home to practice simply being at peace in a relaxed state.  I can deal with the memories, feelings, and triggers on my time instead of being flooded at night when all is calm, dark, and scary.  I still have bad days but I know I'm handling this very big transitional time much better having started my minimalist journey.

Maybe you have experienced similar discomfort in still moments, like you've forgotten something or someone.  You find you're happiest when you're super busy. Maybe getting rid of stuff is a trigger for tremendous guilt.  It's hard.  I know.  My experience is reaffirming everyday that it is worth it.